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Sun Life Stadium Renovation

The Miami Dolphins are awesome. They’ve finally figured it out. In the era of fantasy and 1080p, how do you get fans out of the living rooms and into the stadium? You build living rooms IN the stadium! The Dolphins are tearing seats out of Sun Life Stadium, and replacing them with comfortable chairs, TVs and privacy. Right there on the 30 yard line, you can throw down for what they’re calling “Living Room” seating.

And according to team President Team Garfinkel, you’ll get some SWEEET amenities. Your stadium living room includes “a mini garbage to throw things out” …and “a drawer to lock your valuables.”

Gotta say Garf, I was a little skeptical of this. But now that I know they’re hooking you up with – A DRAWER – I may have to get down for a Dolphins game. Tell me more! What else do we get… A door?? A wall? A pen? Question – if you’re in a living room… Why would you need to lock your valuables? I don’t have a safe on my coffee table at home.

The problem with this “living room” – is that it’s not connected to my “bathroom” or my “bedroom.” Why would I pay for their living room… When mine is free, I don’t have to drive there, and I’m not surrounded by drunks in jerseys the second I walk out of it. But hey, you can’t beat a bargain right? And the Dolphins are offering their living room for the season.. At 75 grand!! For over 9,300 a game, I’m going to need a little more than a TV, a trash can, and a drawer I don’t need.

In fact, for 75gerr.. I could renovate my OWN living room with platinum floors and a 400 inch curv television. I’d do a jackknife into the Baguars filthy swimming pools before I set up shop in the Fins living room.

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