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Stop Lying Eldrick

An even bigger mystery than who let some air out of the footballs…. is who knocked an incisor out of Tiger? Because Eldrick showed up a ski event for his gal pal…and the face of golf looked more like Faces of Meth.

He’s gotta be so bent, because with his entire body breaking down – that massive wall of white china in his mouth was all the cat had left.

And you can save all your cheap chuckles about how Tiger forgot to send Elin this months’ check, so she came back to finish the job with his wedge. And that she showed bad form by not replacing her chiclet divet. That’s just ridiculous. E did not hit Eldrick with a golf club. Well, at least not a second time (allegedly).

If anything- Linds smoked him with a ski pole. With this guy, who knows? Maybe someone in the Vonntourage tipped her off that her man was back at Perkins grubbing a short stack with the waitress on his lap? Or maybe she went through his phone and found 200 text messages to “Dry Cleaners?” I know what didn’t happen: this nonsense story that his agent floated about some camera man cracking him in the mouth in a midst of a media scrum.

Do we look that stupid? Is he a former #1 golfer or a pipe hitting mayor?

By the way, if it that’s what really happened, and there were cameras everywhere, wouldn’t someone have video or a picture of it? Of course, which is why it never happened. But don’t take it from me. I wasn’t there. But race officials were and they say it didn’t happen either.

Stop lying Eldrick, the truth will set you free.

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