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Stafford’s Vacation Hall Pass

TMZ Sports is kind enough to stalk the Instagram accounts of athletes and their wives so I don’t have to. And when they find something worth posting, they do it. And then I see it. It’s a great system. Saves me a ton of time. So shoutout to TMZ Sports for digging up a photo that Matt Ryan’s wife, Sarah, posted to the Gram.

The photo is of Sarah Ryan, in Cabo, flanked by her husband, Matty Ice, and Lions quarterback Matt Stafford. Noticeably missing from this international vacation picture is Stafford’s wife, Kelly. And why isn’t she in the photo? Because she’s at home. Pregnant. Expecting twins. Next month. And her husband busted out for this couple’s vacation without her.

To her credit, she did hit the comment section on the Gram and thumb out, “Loving everything about this picture expect for the fact that I’m not in it and stuck in Michigan.”

This is one hell of a hall pass right here. Stafford went with Matt Ryan and Matt Ryan’s wife to Cabo without his pregnant wife who’s at home expecting twins. Most third trimester preggo women don’t let their guys get away for a round of golf, let alone a trip to Cabo. But maybe Mrs. Stafford didn’t want to spend a week around Matt Ryan who’s probably going to be drinking away Super Bowl 51. Or, maybe it’s because an international flight to a beach town this late in pregnancy is not advisable or desirable for ten different reasons.

As for Mr. Stafford–Cabo’s cool. But is it cool enough to be the third wheel all week? Hell no. Nothing is. Ever been that dude stuck around an affectionate couple for even two minutes? It’s painful.

So it’s weird that Stafford still went. Also, strange things happen in pregnancies. Babies come early. Stafford is really rolling the dice by being in Mexico when his wife is in Michigan a month away from her due date. It’s a four and a half hour bird from Cabo to Detroit. And that doesn’t include getting to the airport, going through customs, boarding and deboarding, and everything else that probably makes it’s a 10 hour trip home if he gets the call that labor’s starting early.

I have a guy on staff here James Kelley whose wife literally starting having contractions at home while he was here at the studio. This was back in October. And 99% of the time, contractions mean labor has started. This XR4Ti member got the word that his wife was having contractions and he shrugged it off. No joke. He buried his head right back into his lapper and starting plugging away on post show production.

Meanwhile, almost everyone else here is a dad. We know the drill. We’ve been in this spot. And we’re pleading with this dude to pack it up and hit the road. He just stone-faces us and says, “It’ll be fine. No big deal. I’m good. She’s good. I’m gonna finish up my work first.” We couldn’t get this guy to budge. He was convinced the baby wasn’t coming anytime soon. My man, couldn’t have been less phased. Of course, the baby came later that day like we all told him it would and he barely made it home in time to grab the go-bag and get everyone to hospital. You just never know.

Some of you may even remember, I literally left this show one day before it was over, because Janet was ready to drop Jake. Never mind, that she wasn’t, and that she had a 28 hour labor because the baby was breach the entire thing nearly killed her.

But these are all things Stafford should be taking into consideration when he blows out for a Cabo run without his wife. And if he has two on the way, he can go ahead and double those concerns.

I do see where Stafford probably couldn’t wait to make this trip. And it has everything to do with the fact this guy’s life is on a crash course for twins. Freaking twins. That’s tough. A friend once told me, “Twins is a cuter, shorter way of saying ‘two bleeping babies at the same time.’”

And he’s right. Twins is a tough hand to be dealt. Especially as first time parents. I’m not saying it’s not going to be great. I’m not saying the Stafford’s aren’t going to love their kids and that it won’t be an amazing experience. I’m saying one is hard. Two, at the same time, is ridiculous. And his wife already knows it. And probably said to him: hey bro-ham: go get hammered. I don’t know why those two want you there, but get it all out right now, because when you come back, it’s go-time, and it will be at least 18 years before you do anything like that again. So hit The Office, Cabo Wabo and slam some tequila at Las Ventanas, and don’t ever, ask me ever again, if you can do something like this, because the answer will be NO! Party on.