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R-E-L-A-X, C-Town

Cleveland got back the best player on the planet. But the Cavs have one of the worst records in the East. And this C-Town Dream Team just lost to one of last year’s lottery teams. Jazz 102. Cavs 100.

And it was all looking so good for LBJ and Company. He was aggressive as hell, he dropped 30+, he combined with Kyrie and K-Love for 79. Everything was going to be all right. Until max player and Olive Garden lover Gordon Hayward closed the night.

Get that man an Italian Sampler Platter! And get Cavs fan some answers.

Ask me…, LeBron should go Aaron Rodgers and give them some letters. R-E-L-A-X. Your native son can’t make it any clearer: this is not a quick fixer upper. The dude always gets praised for his hoops IQ. But your average blowhard in a sports bar can see that the Cavs operating system is buggy. Dion Waiters has already been benched. Mike Miller still can’t find a bucket. And somehow Kyrie just ran the point for 45 minutes without an assist. That’s a team that doesn’t know where it’s going yet.

Cleveland’s walking through a dark room and banging their knee on coffee tables. And their leader has started a nightly ritual of finding new ways to tell everybody to chill: Tuesday it was “there’s been some bad basketball around here.” Wednesday it was the tried and true “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” And I predict he’ll drop “you gotta walk before you can crawl” tomorrow night. And he’s right. He told you in Portland it was going to take months. It’s been 48 hours. They’ll come around.

Until then, just honk your Browns and pray the Bengals don’t beat them down.