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Papa Jackson

GET OUT THE WAY. The 2015 NFL offseason is FLYING out the gates. Johnny Manziel’s in rehab. Josh Gordon suspended again. Terrence Cody apparently abuses (dogs and alligators). And D’Qwell Jackson is swinging on Little Caesars??? Colts linebacker D’Qwell Jackson has been arrested, for allegedly punching a pizza delivery dude in his face.

How does that happen? He brings green peppers instead of pepperoni on the pie? – So you tip him by knocking his teeth out? Me, I’m always ecstatic to see the pizza man. I don’t care if he’s 60 minutes late; he ate 3 slices, parked on my lawn and forgot the extra parmesan packets. He’s bringing me a piping box of joy. Punch him? I want to HUG him.

So why would an NFL linebacker slug him? Reportedly, there was a dispute over a parking spot. Look out. Lemme guess- D’Qwell trailed somebody out of the store, followed them all the way to their spot, put his blinker on… and then pizza bro with a sign on top of his Taurus jetted in and stole the spot? I know some of you think that’s one of the proverbial reasons to go. But it’s not. .. I don’t know the deets yet. But I don’t really need to, to know that a 240 pound linebacker shouldn’t let his hands go on Dominoes over a parking spot. Or anything.

I don’t care if it was the sweetest spot, under shade, right next to the door… getting it poached is not a reason to go. The guy who had a hand in Deflate Gate… shouldn’t be deflating a pizza boy’s face. My man, you might make a living tackling dudes playing for the shield, but you can’t just go attacking guys delivering for The Papa. Better parking. Better punches. Papa Jackson.

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