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New England’s Deflated, Seattle’s Elated

And meanwhile Super Bowl 49 hasn’t even started and the Seahawks are already winning. And they’re probably laughing. Because they get to spend the next two weeks watching the nation shred the Pats. The focus isn’t on Seattle repeating, it’s on the Patriots’ cheating.

Zany Petey Carroll doesn’t even need to reach into his tension-cutting gag bag for this game. Nobody needs to sing Lean on Me. There won’t be a Marshawn Lynch dummy that gets thrown off a building like LenDale White. He could just fire up the overhead projector and show quotes from Belichick. That’ll bring the house down.

What do you want from your team before this kind of game – You want them to be loose. And nothing makes a dude tighten up like getting grilled about your legendary head coach being a cheater. Can you even imagine how uncomfortable media day is going to be for New England? Gronk’s head might explode trying not to say something dumb about inflation. Brady will be BEGGING for a marriage proposal. Belichick will be like- These questions are so boring. Anybody want to hear a joke? Want to hear our gameplan? Want to hear about Aaron Hernandez? uhhh. I know where the murder weapon is! Did I say that out loud? No one’s talking about the Seahawks or the injuries to Richard Sherman and Earl Thomas.

In fact, Carroll could probably be picked up for DUI and the focus would still be all about the Patriots’ PSI. So pop in a fresh stick of Juicy Fruit, Peter. The Hoodie’s under fire and you’re halfway home. New England’s deflated. Seattle’s elated.