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Mt. Mamba Finally Erupted

It took about 6 weeks and 16 losses, but Mt. Mamba finally erupted. And the Kobe Bryant who has preached “patience” and “process” … .was preaching “these mother bleepers ain’t doing bleep for me” to his teammates at practice. Mamba’s Gonna Mamba, and we’ve officially arrived at Charmin Smack.

This week I crowned Erv Johnson captain of Team Tank. Kobe Bryant is now the Owner, the Boss and the Don of Team Car Flag. Dude probably has two of them on his chopper. Because if the Lakers were to follow Magic’s lead and start losing every game… Bryant would make sure they lost a few teeth.

But make no mistake… This is not Kobe losing composure and blowing a gasket. He’s not losing it. He’s leading. In his own way. If I’m Team Car Flag… I love it. They ARE Charmin Soft. They’re Downey. They’re the quicker picker upper. They’re 2-ply. They’re April Fresh.

So the meanest man in league went Great Santini to see if they have a pulse. I just don’t know if berating Jeremy Lin to his face is going to turn him into Chris Paul. He told ESPN’s Arash Markazi after practice “I’ve always believed in throwing them in the pool and seeing if they can sink or swim.”

Dude they can barely dog paddle. And the Mamba’s Mike Phelps. A lot of leaders would put a safety fence around the pool; the Lakers leader says screw it, rips their snorkel and shoves them in. I just don’t think it’s going to help them win. No amount of toilet paper blasts can.

I wonder how long before Kobe punches them to see if they bleed? Enjoy that mother bleeping roadie, Fellas. I know Team Tank will.

22 down. 60 to go