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Mean Dean Spitting Knowledge

The NFL Annual Meetings in Arizona are hilarious. 32 head coaches and hundreds of huge egos schlepping around the Biltmore wearing lanyards and “Hello My Name is Hoodie” nametags like they’re at a corporate convention for some insurance company.

Nobody gets any work done on those trips. You crush the la cordon bleu at the buffet, pretend to listen to the lecture and count the minutes until they open the cash bar. They’re not conventions. They’re professional vacations.

And it doesn’t sound like the Shield’s doing squat on theirs either. And since the NFL is a beautiful woman who feels the need to keep hammering her beak… they’re talking more about extra points this week. The league might offer them from the 1-yard line. Wait… I thought touchdowns were going to be worth 9? Nothing says “We’re working hard here in the desert” like coughing up another cockamamie idea for PAT’s.

You wanna workshop something? Break into small groups and fix the rule that took a catch from Dez Bryant in the playoffs. Wait, check that. No need. Sounds like the catch rule already got handled by Mean Dean. Spit some knowledge, Blandino. “What gets lost in this rule is the time element and that requirement. That’s the subjective part and it’s too hard to quantify that…” ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Sorry were you saying something? Because everyone who wasn’t sleep-drooling – was doodling in the notepads they pulled out of their welcome package.

I said it in January -I’ll say it again – The rule should say: If a player catches the ball.. It’s a catch. Let’s break for lunch. There’s shrimp on the barby and Rex Ryan’s holding his annual belly flop contest in the pool. Back at 3pm sharp, gentleman, try to show up sober.

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