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LA Throws Down For The Zellweger Package

The Dodgers are going psychotic! They’re beating the league up! And MLB needs help!! Because I don’t care if you hit 81 games at Dodger Stadium last season… you may barely recognize this team this morning.

To put it in LA terms: The Dodgers didn’t just get a nip, a tuck and some Botox. They threw down for the Zellweger package and overhauled half their face.

Just to start… they pulled Angels second baseman Howie Kendrick up the 5-free way in a trade. AND they brought the house down by landing Jimmy Rollins to play short. Oh… AND they signed free agent pitcher and world class Tweeter Brandon McCarthy. That’s a brand-new double play combination and a 4th starter in the rotation. There are so many names flying around Chavez Ravine that the Dodgers’ deals read like one of Magic Johnsons’ tweets.

So GM Andrew Friedman, your work is done here. See y’all in Spring Training. NOT BEFORE WE TRADE MATT KEMP. 4 outfield spots, 3 players, and Kemp is expensive and injured, which makes him Expendable. So he’s apparently headed to San Diego.

Folks around baseball always wondered what Dodgers President of Baseball Operations Andrew Friedman could do if he actually had some money to work with. Now we know: whatever the hell he wants. You know the old adage, if ain’t broke, don’t fix it? Well, the Dodgers won 94 games last season, and Friedman just took a wrecking ball to it. And I love it.

And that’s why he’s the highest paid suit in the game. He’s got a vision, he’s executing it with surgical precision, and he’s not done yet.

29 teams are working baseball’s hot stove. LA’s team is using a blow torch.