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Katherine’s Halftime Performance

I guess I missed the announcement that we were all supposed to drop acid before the half time show. But the good news is, I was dead sober, and Katy Perry still made me feel like I was on the salts.

Willy Wonka’s boat ride thought the world got a contact high from Katherine’s halftime. A giant tiger. A shooting star. A shirtless Kravitz. No need to tell us to “get our freak on” Missy Elliot, we already did the second Katy went to the beach. California Girls? I married a California Girl. I live in California. I grew up in California. I’ve never seen nightmare cartoon sharks and singing beach balls in my life. Neither has anybody who’s not on drugs.

I’ll give her this though – she did paya sweet tribute to a real California institution – Hot Dog on Stick. If you saw that outfit, and you didn’t suddenly have a craving for pork products and cornmeal wrapped around a twig – I don’t want to know you. That’s my “teenage dream” right there.

You can have your guac, salsa and wings- gimme a skewered corn dog and chase it with some lemonade served by a gal on pogo stick. She got weird, she held it down. But ask me – Katy P needed less dancing sharks, more hot dog on a stick.

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