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Heat Karaoke Night

I think we all have that one email every year that we all dread. The one that always pops in from the same guy, at the same time, inviting us to an event we know we HAVE to attend. For the Miami Heat- I think Shane Battier is the friend. Every year he invites the whole organization to his karaoke night, and he’s just too good of a dude, and too much of a pro for anyone to say no to. The good news about Battioke though? The rest of us don’t have to go. And I can hand out letter grades for the guys who were dragged on stage.

First up – Michael Beasley as Vanessa Carlton. (there’s a bunch of these) A!!!! Karaoke isn’t about being cool. It’s about saying Screw it, acting a fool, and still nailing the song. Beasley just set the bar. Next up – Coach Spo, and Jacko. SHA-MON. Spoelstra gets a C. Points for letting yourself look ridiculous. Deductions for trying to hide behind a Jacko hat and bringing up a lady to draw eyeballs. Jacko didn’t drag Latoya up on stage. Best news for Coach? Compared to Pat Riley, he was BETTER than Michael Jackson. Get ‘em Riles. That’s an F. Riles- the lyrics are right there on the screen. I know you can’t sing, but can you even read?

Can somebody hit Patrick with his bifocals, and a pitch pipe. Or a lead pipe? Guy makes pop singer Manny Pacquieo sound like Paul McCartney. Great that you’re being a good sport. . But Pops, – next time that Battioke email comes in- just write a check. You say twist and shout? We say scream and run. You don’t look so good… and you slaughtered the Beatles… just like I knew you would.

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