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Gronk’s Back

Three things happened in Foxboro yesterday. Tom Brady had one of the best games of his life. The Bears ate one of the worst losses in their history. And we witnessed the return of America’s favorite fratty.

To anybody who ever thought we’d never see The Gronk who took over the league and ice luge a few years back…the creatine caveman had a few words for the doubters yesterday: GRONK BACK. YOU DUMB. GRONK MAKE TOUCHDOWN.

There’s getting Gronk back on the field…. And then there’s getting him BACK. Running a few patterns for Tommy while he wears 50 pounds of extra pads made him just another tight end. Catching 3 touchdowns for Tommy and actually THROWING safeties off of him makes him one of the most unstoppable meatheads in the game. That’s the Gronk who was dancing shirtless after LOSING the Super Bowl. That’s the Gronk who claimed if he had a time machine – he would use it to go to “Florida.” That’s the Gronk who had an adult film star posing in his Pats jersey. And that’s the guy who could actually get Brady and Billy to Super Bowl #6.

Only one problem here… We’ve seen this guy before. And we’ve seen him get broken several times before. In fact, herein lies the big problem with Brady’s two best weapons from this era: One hurts himself. One kills people. And no, I’m not here to rain on the Gronk parade.. PBRs and Porn Stars for everybody! No one is happier than I am that he’s back. I just hope this time, the party actually lasts.