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Fire Goodell Guy

They say golf is a gentleman’s game. If that’s the case, then why are there always so many bags on the links. You know who I’m talking about, I’ve hit on GOLF GUY before.

The guy who hits his first tee shot and says, “Probably the only good one I’ll hit all day.”

The guy who rolls with sunflower seeds on the green.

The guy who puts out his cigarette butts on the green.

The guy who tries to pull a hug from the Cart Girl.

The guy who hits you with a “That’s one” when you accidentally bump your ball off the tee.

The guy who tries to help you fix your swing on hole 2.

The guy who responds after you leave a putt short with, “Nice putt, does your husband play?” And “Maybe next time put your purse down before you putt.”

And of course, the guy who yells, “GET IN THE HOLE.” At every hole. On every shot. At every tournament. 520 yard Par 5? 120-foot putt? It doesn’t matter. The dude is an attention seeking missile, and he’ll strike whenever and wherever.

I’m so over “GET IN THE HOLE” bag. The other GOLF GUYS don’t bother me. If I don’t want to deal with them, I just don’t play with them. But “GET IN THE HOLE” guy, you have no choice.

But now, incredibly, there’s someone even worse than GET IN THE HOLE GUY. Something even worse than bags everywhere screaming that regardless of where a guy is on the course. Even worse than GET IN THE HOLE GUY, is his long lost cousin…FIRE GOODELL GUY!

This guy went attention seeking on the 16th hole at the Players Championship yesterday. We live in an era where everybody’s trying to go viral. And this guy went for it. I always say, be different. And to that, I give him credit. But we can’t put this snake back in the can. I reeeeally don’t want this starting a wave of people trying to push their protests onto golf fans who are just minding their own business trying to enjoy a peaceful Saturday or Sunday. You know it’s only going to spawn copy-BAGS.

I mean, we all have agendas we want to push. But at the tee box of a PGA tournament is not the place for them.

SAVE THE WHALES!

MEAT IS MURDER!

CLICK IT OR TICKET!

REUSE. REDUCE. RECYCLE!

AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!

The NFL owners aren’t going to hear this tool’s scream and call an emergency meeting to vote on Goodell’s job just because of your spotlight searching. And pretty sure it’s safe to assume, this tool was a Pats fan. Because nobody is as persistent about pink slipping the Commish as New Englanders.

Get over it, Pats fan. You’ve won TWO Super Bowls since Deflategate started. You’ve already gotten over. And he’s not getting fired. Not when you consider the amount of money he’s made for your owner and all the others.

As for your, FIRE GOODELL. GET A FREAKING LIFE! Nobody is interested in you yelling anything at the golf course. Not “get in the hole” not “fire Goodell” not even “mashed potatoes” and “medium rare.” Save it for your buddies at your local goat track. Actually don’t, because even they don’t think it’s funny.