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Enjoy WrestleMania, Brock

You’re Brock Lesnar. You’re 37 years old. You have a body built for hurting people- and you have options on how to use it.

Do you choose to spend the next several years A: getting fake-suplexed by Roman Reigns. Or B: getting real deal punched in the grill by Alistair Overeem? You’re damn right you’d choose A. And so would he. Brock Lesnar has ended the will he or won’t’ he phase of his career by telling ESPN yesterday that has re-signed with WWE. “I’m officially closing the door on MMA.”

Good call. Because I saw Cain Velasquez officially break your face. Don’t get me wrong – I liked Lesnar in the cage. He wasn’t just a Kimbo Slice with a crew cut and a knife tattoo. He had legit ground game, he submitted Shane Carwin, he ko’d Randy Couture, and he wore the black hat. But now he gets to follow the script.

And I know that script is never going to say – the Undertaker opens up a huge gash under his eye. Or that John Cena knocks him out with a kick to the body. Working with Vince McMahon won’t get you a knee in the face. Working with Dana White will get you carried out of the cage.

This is like choosing to be a movie star instead of a stunt man. Never choose arm bars over body slams. Enjoy WrestleMania, Brock. I don’t’ know if you’ll win your match, but I’m positive you won’t’ lose an eye.

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