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Bones Jones Is The Natural

Jon Jones’ most impressive victories: A TKO of Shogun Rua. A submission of Lyoto Machida. And now, a first-round knockout of coke rehab. This dude really is the natural. He’s so talented, that Bones can beat blow in 24 hours.

Because according to his mother, that’s how long the UFC Light Heavyweight champ stayed in drug rehab. One night.

This is the guy who made a statement just over a week ago, apologizing to the UFC, his family, his sponsors and saying “I am taking this treatment program very seriously.” .

Very seriously? For what- a few hours before you were climbing out your window with a bedsheet rope? Look, it sounds to me – like maaaaaybe Bones likes to toot a little sugar here and there for some fun. And maybe he doesn’t think he has a drug problem. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. But I know this: he has a huge image problem.

Why do you think half the celebrities go to rehab in the first place? So they can push the “he’s human, has some demons, and he’s facing up to and owning his problems.” …narrative. But you do have to SELL that storyline. At least for a couple of weeks. Stick around, play some ping pong, do some arts and crafts, get down with some Parcheesi.

Apparently he wanted to see his brothers play for the Colts and Patriots this weekend. What- they don’t have CBS in the rehab rec room? Even still – that game’s Sunday, Johnny. Stay til Saturday and jet to Boston.

You’re a freak: you look unbeatable: but nobody beats rehab (for the booger sugar) that quickly. Testing positive for the Bolivian Marching Power is a terrible look. But going into rehab and peacing after one day is about as bad as snorting the nose candy right in the cage.

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