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A Million Dollar Dime Bag?

Imagine how cool it would be if you were Randy Gregory. You’re a top-10 NFL draft prospect out of Nebraska, you won the genetics Powerball as a D-end who can hit the passer or play in space. You’re about to get PAID. But there’s just one fly in the ointment- you LOOOOVE smoking herb. The Narcs at the NFL combine test for cheeba, and failing that test is frowned upon by potential employers.

So what do you do? Well, if you’re Gregory – you just keeping hitting that fatty and packing the bowl. YOLO! Problem is, the dude did fail the drug test. And by proxy, he fails an IQ test. Because this is as dumb as it gets.

No heads, I’m not some hippie lettuce zealot. But NFL owners are. And it may be legal in certain states, but the salad isn’t allowed in the State of Goodell. This is not breaking news. And as always- how can a team trust that a player won’t be suspended for Endo when he’s already got a contract, when he can’t even butt out the blunt when he’s trying to LAND a contract? They can’t.

Gregory said that he is quote “not just some dumb jock pothead” and insisted that he hadn’t blazed up since December. And you were positive in February? My man, you must have burned the dankest nugs in all of Nebraska, brah. DUI drivers who tell the cops they failed a breathalyzer from the cough medicine they took last night… Are having trouble believing your last bong hit was before Christmas. And I’m not calling you a dumb jock, but I’m not saying you’re a genius either. Hope that kush was sticky, Randy. Because that may have been a million dollar dime bag.

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