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72 Million Dollar Backup

Brock Osweiler. You are….. ….. NOT the quarterback.

That’s right, it looks like the Browns are rolling with rookie quarterback DeShone Kizer, who earned the start for this Saturday’s preseason matchup against Tampa.

And after Browns coach Hue Jackson stated publicly that he wanted to have his starting quarterback in place by Wednesday, while he didn’t officially commit to naming Kizer his starter for Week 1, the writing is on the wall that the 72 million dollar man — who is in the final guaranteed year of a contract that will shell out 37 million guaranteed — is going to be holding a clipboard.

So technically there’s a hedge in there. Technically, Kizer needs to show him SOMETHING on Saturday in Tampa. Like a pulse. Or the ability to not get concussed. Because Osweiler has already showed plenty of reasons why he shouldn’t be the starter. Like the fact that he’s gone two preseason games without generating a point, throwing up a drive chart that’s 2/3rds punts and 1/3 turnovers.

And now comes the best part. A report from ESPN says that the Browns are actively shopping Osweiler on the trade market.

The only team dumb enough to trade for Brock Osweiler already did so five months ago…when the Browns traded for Brock Osweiler. And even then, the Texans had to send along a 2nd round pick to get the Browns to take on his 16 million dollar salary. Even then, the Browns were so happy with that trade that they puffed their chest and led their press release with this quote: “We’re really excited to acquire a second round draft choice in this trade.”

Look, I get it. The Browns front office is feeling good about themselves. Their plan to stock pile draft picks looks like it’s working. They look like they hit on Kizer. Myles Garrett and Jabrill Peppers look the part. They haven’t technically lost a game yet in 2017.

But guys, let’s not start planning the parade route. Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. Think of how many things you’d rather have than Brock Osweiler. An STD. A sub-prime adjustable rate mortgage. Blake Bortles.

So while I’m sure there’s a spreadsheet on the wall telling Sashi Brown and Paul DePodesta that Osweiler’s worth a conditional 7th rounder and a used massage table, don’t get greedy: Slap a baseball cap and headset on the guy and call this a win.

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