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2017 Giants

Chris Foerster wasn’t the only guy in the NFL who’ll be missing some time due to events from yesterday. In fact, Week 5 was a brutal week in the NFL as one big name after another went down. In fact, it would almost be easier to list the guys who are still able to play instead of the ones who were injured, but here’s a quick rundown: Houston lost Whitney Mercilus to a torn pec on the first play of the game, which was bad. And then lost J.J. Watt to a tibial plateau fracture, which is worse. Just as the Texans season looked like it was turning around, they’ve got two defensive stars out with a shredded chest and a busted stick. Mercilus is done for the year and Watt is out too.

Kansas City lost wideout Chris Conley to a torn Achilles and Travis Kelce suffered a concussion. Tennessee offensive tackle Taylor Lewan and Philly offensive tackle Lane Johnson left their respective games with injuries. Same with Cincinnati’s Adam Jones and Dre Kirkpatrick.

And then there are the New York Football Giants. Or what’s left of them. Because they not only lost to the Chargers 27-22, but they lost nearly ever receiver on their roster. Dwayne Harris: fractured foot. Done for the season. Brandon Marshall: sprained ankle. Sterling Shepard: sprained ankle. And then they lost Odell Beckham Jr to a fractured ankle and he’ll need surgery.

That’s four wideouts in one game. They finished the game with just one active receiver. That’s absolutely brutal. But then again, that’s your 2017 New York Giants for you. Anything that could go wrong has gone wrong. This was a team that came into the season with Super Bowl aspirations, a ton of buzz, and now they’re 0-5 and it feels like 0-50.

To call this season a dumpster fire would be an insult to dumpster fires. It’s a hot mess of a dumpster fire on the back of a trainwreck. Any overused phrase to describe a complete disaster is appropriate here, because that’s what the Giants are right now. They are a mosaic of misery. They’re tied with the Browns and the Niners for the worst record in the league: the Browns have hit rock bottom, and that’s something for those losers, but I’d still rather be them than the Giants.

But for a split second, it didn’t look like it was going to be this bad. A minute and a half into the fourth quarter, the Giants actually had a great moment when Eli hung tough in the pocket and hit Odell in stride for a touchdown to give the Giants a 22-17 lead and for an instant. It felt like they were going to get their first win of the season. That looked like the Giants offense that everyone expected this year. And then they tried to go for a 2-point conversion, which they missed after taking a delay of game penalty. How very 2017 Giants of them.

The Chargers cut the lead to 22-20 and then this happened:

And as if that wasn’t bad enough, on the very next play, Eli gets stripped sacked. Then the Chargers score the go-ahead touchdown three plays later. And then Eli gets picked off on the final desperation drive. Ball game. Season. And potentially career for some guys, starting with Ben McAdoo, because at some point, this is going to come back on him in a big, bad way. No, he can’t prevent guys from getting injured, but this team was a mess before all that happened and now they’re going to be an even worse mess now.

At 0-5, I know some of you are going to start thinking about 0-16, but I’m not. It’s way to early to start talking about something as awesome as that. To quote the great Mercury Morris, “Don’t call me when you’re in my town, call me when you’re on my block and I see you next door moving your furniture in.”

Truth. 0-16 is a dream. That’s special. You have to be really good to be that bad, and the Giants are bad, but they aren’t that good. They don’t have what it takes to go 0-16. They’ll get themselves in position, make a run at it, and then screw it up and go 1-15 because that’s what these Giants do. They have everything necessary to do the impossible and run the table in reverse. But they’ll do something to jack it up. Because this year, if something can go wrong it will go wrong for the Giants. And they will screw everything up by winning a game or two.

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